It is SO hard for many people to truly give up the idea that they know what's best for everyone else.
I think as we talk of any topic relative to the Church that we simply have to keep in mind that "my way is not others' way". If we can't do that, if we hold onto the idea that those who do or see or believe or act differently than we do are completely wrong, or less informed, or less enlightened, or any other pejorative judgment, then we are doing to them exactly what they do to us that causes us to complain. I'm not addressing only those outside the LDS Church when I say that. I'm talking every bit as much about our fellow pew mates in many cases.
For example, there is NO guarantee that differences among members in intellectual and spiritual and emotional struggles have ANYTHING to do with the afterlife or our end result, since it seems to be more about how we handle them than that they exist. There is no guarantee that those who appear to float blissfully along in life, attending meetings without any doubts or concerns or angst, doing what they are asked to do, never turning down a calling, etc. aren't better off in the long-run than those who struggle; however, there also is no guarantee that they actually are growing and progressing and becoming better. Maybe they spend their time serving others, while others spend their time obsessing on the internet; maybe they are acting automatically with no conscious decision simply out of a mindless following of the patterns of their youth, while others who serve less do so more consciously and purposefully. Maybe God appreciates and rewards unthinking dedication. Maybe not, but maybe. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe.
The point is that we don't know for sure, so we need to try to let go of our own self-righteousness and allow others within the Church to be whoever they are - loving and accepting them for who they are, not whom we want them to be. We talk of how we want that from others - being loved for who we are; we need to be willing to give them that first - even if it never is returned to us by them.
After all, "We love Him, because He first loved us." That is a godly characteristic that is hard for many, but it is so important as we muddle along together while seeing through our glass, darkly.